Things I'm Learning About My Teenage Self

Hindsight is 20/20, they say. I've always known that to be true, but it is never more true than when I look back and read past journal entries of mine. I am not a "journaler" now at all, but I used to be. Starting in my sophomore year of high school and ending somewhere in the college years, I journaled pretty much daily. Nowadays, I'll journal maybe once or twice every few months. Going back and reading those old entries from my hardcore journaling days is...interesting. Back then I journaled the actual events of my day, my thoughts about those events, occasionally journaled prayers and spiritual insights, and whatever else popped into my head at the time I was writing. All that makes for a pretty vivid picture of my life at that time. I've been going through my entries chronologically over the past couple months and am up to the end of my junior year of high school. I have smiled, winced, been encouraged, been discouraged, remembered some things I'd forgotten, and forgotten things I should have remembered. Here are a few brief observations regarding my teenage self...

First and foremost...boys - obviously this is some of the discouraging and wince-inducing stuff I was talking about. I was SO boy crazy and yet so completely clueless about then at the same time. I'm embarrassed to say boys take up a significant portion of most entries. I was "in love" with so many guys who didn't know I even existed, and I interpreted every interaction I had with them to mean they felt the same way. There were also guys who I was convinced liked me, but looking back I really don't think so. Then there were guys that obviously liked me (based on my looking back more objectively at the interactions I detailed), but in my entries I totally did not see it or believe they were interested in me. All that to say I am grateful that my completely whack ideas and feelings about boys at the time only manifested themselves in stupid teenage girl journal entries, and not something more serious, like unhealthy relationships and the like. I'm also grateful to be married and done with the whole guy thing!

Second - My memory is not as good as I thought it was. There are significant things, events, and people that in my entries that I had totally forgotten about. Even worse, there are significant thing, events, and people that I still don't remember at all even after reading detailed descriptions of them. On the flip side, things I do remember come back to life in vibrant color as I read, and that's pretty neat.

Third - I really have no idea when the exact moment was that I became a Christian, but it's encouraging to read some of my prayers and spiritual insights from back then. I was no Christian superstar or anything, but at the least I can definitely say (based on the entries) that I was trying to maintain a biblical worldview on things (even with the boy stuff), there was a clear desire to trust God in hard situations (even if I didn't always succeed), I cared about people around me and their spiritual state, and I was learning and growing in little ways here and there. It's amazing to see how God has both grown cemented things that began in high school and also reminded me of some things I was doing then but not doing now (and should be).

Fourth - I am so blessed. I had such a good and rich and peaceful adolescence. Of course things weren't perfect then or now, and it's not because I was so great or anything, but in God's goodness and sovereignty, He has blessed me with such a great family and upbringing. Reading about past things I did, people I knew, friends I had, family experiences, etc., reminds me of how blessed I was/am. I am so thankful to Him for all the blessings and little trials of those years, and even more thankful for His guidance and love in that time.

P.S. Fifth - I'm so, so, so glad I don't have to study for any more AP tests or worry about homework and tests and papers!

Harry Potter! (Yelled with a British accent)

Okay so I know I'm about, oh, ten years late on this debate, but oh well. Michael and I recently saw the final Harry Potter movie at the dollar theater. It was the culmination of several weeks of watching all the HP movies in chronological order. Having not read the books, the movies were entertaining and it was fun to see the kids growing up in each movie. Anyway, watching the movies brought to mind the past outcry from many Christians about the series. "Burn it!" and "You and your children shouldn't be within 500 miles of it!" seemed to be the sentiment of many. I didn't really agree with those ideas at the time the debate was raging fiercest, but having watched all the movies now and gained a better sense of the themes and story arc, I can safely say that I still disagree.

The series was rejected by many Christians because of the witchcraft and wizardry contained in the story, and of course there's the appalling fact that those kids drink butterBEER! Gasp! Now granted, I absolutely agree that there are numerous and very clear commands against witchcraft, consulting mediums, etc. in the Bible, but my goal isn't to exegete those passages to figure out if the HP series truly qualifies as witchcraft or practicing it, etc. (By the way...I don't think it does) I personally believe that this, like many things, is a matter of Christian conscience. As such, here are my two main thoughts about the whole thing.

First, the overall themes and elements of the HP series seem to be quite universal to any and every epic story - good vs. evil, courage, redemption, grand quests, friendship, learning from your mistakes, pressing on in the midst of adversity, etc. The HP series even includes the more overtly Christian theme of self-sacrifice for the good/salvation of others. So to me, HP really doesn't differ much from most grand tales with which most Christians have no problems. Specifically, the HP series did not seem much different (in theme and scope) to those other two works HIGHLY venerated by most Christians - The Chronic - WHAT! cles of Narnia (sorry, couldn't resist) series by C.S. Lewis and The Lord of the Rings trilogy by J.R.R. Tolkien. Witches and wizards and magic and supernatural arts are central to those series. Why then is the HP series verboten and Lord of the Rings celebrated?

I think the answer to that question is related to my second thought, which is that this whole debate raises the larger issue of Christians and media. I could rant for hours about the often arbitrary "sacred"/"secular" lines Christians draw when it comes to movies, tv, and music, but I won't. I'll just say that I think it's taking the easy and let's be honest, lazy route to take one look at something and throw it on a "Christian - good" shelf or a "Secular - bad" shelf. Obviously there are certain things that are firmly in one camp or another, but I generally think that more of us Christians could be more discerning and think more critically as we evaluate things around us to determine the bad and good in something. To ponder the elements that can be redeemed and used for loving others around us, and/or how those elements can help us further awe in and glorify our creative, beautiful, and just God.